and Geisha: Radio Vipassana
to just walk nowhere to nowhere....
the onion layers:
and physical pain, physical pain and then emotions.
bottom part of my body is so weak..it's jello: my knees, my
incredible sexual urge is opening up. Can't keep this up much
longer. I feel looser now after a good cry, but somewhat distant
from the group. Constriction may set in at anytime.
OUT ON THE FLOOR. LOOSEN UP....
the sittings are becoming more interesting than the walkings
and they're moving at a faster clip. That's a good sign.
becoming more sensitive. I'm plunging deeper into the psychic
More thoughts are flooding in.
knees really hurt.
fourth sitting, day five....
vipassana machine is just generating wonders. I'm beginning
to see patterns. The environment is all important. Yeah.
bells, personal safety, proper temperature, silence, fruit,
and a nice luxurious feeling all help a person to get into the
necessary meditative groove for starting up the vipassana machine.
different kinds of psychic voyages of different wave-lengths,
fine-tuning is needed. Even a bastardized version of vipassana
can generate a decent altered state of consciousness for even
more creativity. Micro-seconds and samadhi are for the masters
and real sunnyasins.
Time is now flying!
bad it took so much time to get into the groove. Ah, well. One
just can't plunge into stuff, like this without experience.
time for micro-moments. Some other time.
and night-shades help the fine-tuning. Better fine-tuning, then
more field penetration. Fields can be easily disrupted. This
I learned at Esalen. That's how I consciously and unconsciously
kept Puj's group hostage. " I " finally got personal
attention when Puj got angry and told me to stay in my room
for walks and show up for all the sittings or none at all.
thoughts flowed better after I got rid of some emotional garbage.
Yoga did it.
becoming a little embarrassing. I'm starting to read people's
We're past the half-way mark now. Four more sittings to go.
My knees are getting weak. That's probably why there's so much
the hell does one turn off the machine? It's like excavation
Better meditate on that. Maybe a walk in the snow will help.
mind does indeed act like a machine. I guess that's why consciousness
is so much more organic. The deeper you go, the more murky and
more erratic it gets. Mind as a silly robot going in circles
within an irrational maelstrom.
Two different types of circular motion. One is static and repetitive.
The other is organic and morphogenetic. Slow-down. Non-linear.
goes the bell....up to the meditation room with the sunyassin
getting tired. The thought stream is lessening. I did see two
weird things. The president is dead and the old man is a channel.
Who's controlling the channel. Damned if I know. Some alien
of Zazen. I can see why benches make a difference. My bench
is too bulky. A new one, I found here is small and narrow. Just
right for my legs.
They touch my heels more closely. This steadies me and improves
my concentration. Why the hell is there an air humidifier in
more fucking sitting before dinner.
about six major thought flows per meditation session. As one
thought flow pops up, it gets coded and stacked in that order.
Like airplanes waiting to land at an airport.
components for a theory of creativity are indeed coming together:
flow, incrementalism, and the vipassana machine's ability to
make sense of it all.
and commercialization of oriental nuero-science is in its infancy
in America. All Third Wave organizations will demand oriental
nuero-science in the future.
is only the first step towards creative solutions of our collective
problems. What is also needed is insight-synthesizing and this
is done by mining the brain with vipassana machine. However,
a human value-shift will be critical for vipassana to really
make a difference. Beyond information of course.
mind seems clearer now. Ideas are integrated. Now that the transition
into vipassana has been finally achieved. I guess emotional
blocks precluded this.
goes the bell for din-din. Abs' gourmet veggievilles. A reality
in the snow.
sitting: My mind just got tired of itself and " I "
decided to tune into the fireplace. I floated away and listened
to my breathing. Whenever I did this, body pains became unmasked.
In my toes, in my knees, behind my ears, suddenly a warm chill
shot up my spine; and it felt absolutely delicious.
RADIO VIPASSANA was getting revved up for tuning into more subtle
roommate who talks in his sleep was tossing and turning all
night. He finally left the room. Poor fellow. Probably can't
handle returning to " reality. " I kept hearing voices
inside my head:
Discover yourself. Identify yourself. "
that's what I'm trying to do.