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they dropped the bomb fifty years ago today; and to be frank
about it I wonder if you and I bombed out as well. I mean I
graphed it all out and it really looks like this big wave that
kind of just crested and crashed. I mean is there anything next?
This angel dance is beginning to look more like a witch's Sabbath
than anything else I can think of. Shit, it's just a lot of
food supply for the demons. I mean shit! These sexual sensations
just lead to images of mutilation and torture. UGHHHH! Black
magic and demons mixing with all this sexual violence. Yeah,
this year, I really had a chance to explore all these dark aspects
of the subtle world. It all started with your psychic rape at
the Tibetan place. And I just abandoned the verbal for the visual
as the protectors came out; and all this poison just started
to ooze out into all these subtle Kali images. Yeah, and I was
able to catch a glimpse of Shiva, but just barely. Oh, how this
seemingly solid flesh of ours seems to just spill out into all
these multiple fluid selves. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS, TOO! Too
good, my dear. But you know when you have greater awareness
all this does is just bring out a lot of new challenges. I'm
telling you Babe, INTENT is really critical in these subtle
worlds. There really are a lot of multiple perceptions and realities
popping out all the time. And you really do need more skill
and responsibility. Oh, don't you wish you were Shiva? I mean
there's no self " there. " Nothing is really solid
nor fluid. There really are no masks. Nor is there really any
confusion. Cool, huh? There isn't any frame or frames either.
Nope! Just total awareness preparing itself for the next adventure.
But it's our intent, love. It's our intent! It's still a little
foggy. I mean look at that crazyThai guy. His intent was monstrous!
And what about Padma? Just look at the mind connection this
guy had in his spiral dance with his consorts. Incurable love
at first sight has to be processed. Get it? I mean even the
wife of that crazy Thai guy came out of the subtle realms to
be instructed. That's no joke! I'm trying t tell you the truth.
And skillful telling of the truth is always critical. And it's
also pretty DIFFICULT. And you know our separation is really
critical for our purification. It's a kind of forced fusion
from a distance. Our spiral and that of the world's are both
slowly revolving through this pretty large double helix. And
you know, Babe these spirals are pretty intensely charged and
they really do need to be handled with care. Do you think I'm
time-bound or time-free? This damn samsara. It's like a war
without any rest....
seagull flew. Here, there. Here. Far in the gray a bell chimed..
Living in a boat on dry land pointing away from shore....
Reality being the past, present, and future all rolled into
one. Intention being a spectrum of baby-like belief, adolescent
faith, and adult-like trust....
The tall, hairy man suddenly saying:
has a good sense about what she's about, but doesn't really
know what to do with it. Ah, yes! It's an immature
trust that forces her to cover herself and run to mama who loves
to isolate her forcing her to bust out again. A very predictable
cycle. What she needs to do is learn how to wave through herself
with out getting lost in herself. He gazed a bit into nothing.
---She's not ready for heavy spiritual practice. Being there's
always a triple whammy to most events. Like mom telling her
" Be a baby! " and the shrink telling her " Be
a grown-up baby! " and you telling her " Grow up!
" It's the old prep, blow-up, and flush. He laughed and
thought about Noh, Greek drama. It was almost lie a dream. He
could see where she was headed despite the current suspension.
---She has a high tulku sheer. Understanding it all, but not
knowing what to do with it. It's the big dharmakaya squeeze
caving in on her little nirmanakaya self. The tools and motivation
are lacking. There's only constant hiding. " I can be solo,
but I need. " Oh, what a bore. The queen mom and her
brat princess have some very tight karma Cola, indeed. He smiled
a wicked little smile.
---She's got a big dependency issue. Too bad your little light
revolution got snuffed out. Looks like mommy won and dakini
bolted because the spiritual path is always the hardest. She
wants to be an adolescent. So let her have her last ditch stand.
He was silent. What more was there to say?
was her again in yet another dream and they simply came and came
in an undeniable traffic. She was smiling there standing naked
offering up a cup of mysterious liquid to me all in a darkened
room and it was mother in her dark blue skin a letter from Europe
arriving with a strange collage form that became a window for
three dimensional forms she calling me a Gitberg as she posed
in a fashion-zine wearing nothing but a tank-top and jeans barefoot
as always her hair wrapped in a towel as we talked about a mission
with an eavesdropper listening nearby..
trying to make a comeback and it's so hard. It's strange and it's
scary and it's magnificent. I took the bus the other day to San
Francisco and entered the world of point and click. I attended
a class that tried to demystify multimedia. The computer now is
turning into a Bach organ and you can do all kinds of neat things
with it. Harvest is going to be a multimedia symphony. Yup, it's
going to be digitized and turned into strange hypnotic art. It
will also be transmitted through the digital pipeline and this
is definitely something new. It's all virgin territory. After
the class I hung around and attended a lecture given by this computer
genius. He kept on saying that any kind of technological evolution
would create stress in any culture that got hit by it. He felt
that computer technology could raise the collective IQ in a culture's
race to handle the accelerating complexity which was spawned by
the very computer technology that was generating this new complexity.
Well, I really liked hearing this. It was right up my alley. This
guy proposed a hyper-document system as a potential solution.
I mean he felt tools and humans needed to co-evolve. This guy
called this boot-strapping. You just kept putting back into the
new system all its out-puts as the latest inputs. And you then
let the system evolve on in a spiral manner. It was such a cool
idea to me that it was now turning hot inside my newly excited
imagination. This guy talked about this frontier perception map.
It was all simulation city and you explored cyber-space like the
astronauts explored outer space in the space shuttle, but it was
more this mind thing now. You also had to do this for its own
sake. Before the market gave the business community its signals.
Which he thought was a pretty idiotic way to anticipate anything.
There was now a dangerous time-lag which we needed to get a handle
on pronto. You needed specially trained teams for cyberwalks and
simulations now and also forever after. Bootstrap was a way to
keep ahead of the black and white stress cycles. Any change in
scale brought on by complexity could be mapped and then simulated
before it was too late. It's like you needed this feedforward
kind of thinking as well as the usual feedback stuff. I took the
BART train back to Oakland. I had to walk twelve blocks through
some really grungy territory. I mean it was a zillion miles from
the bootstrap lecture. I could see why the blacks were pissed
off. I looked at the billboards and they showed nothing but white
guys and their chicks smoking cigarettes and having a good time.
This was pretty out of reach for the locals. Many I don't think
even really know what cyberspace is . I'm not sure they even really
care. This prostitute nearby, asked me if I wanted to have a good
time. I told her I wasn't really in the mood for it.
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contents of this site copyright by Michael Arthur Finberg