- Calcutta - Auschwitz
go out," Summer said as she laced up her tall brown boots.
"Let's just walk around," she added. I meekly obeyed.
Who could resist this angel? Prague was untypically dark and cold
on this particular night. Summer and I embraced each other as
we walked to ward off the cold and to signal a new phase in our
relationship. Old, old energies were coming up. We found a park
bench and started our chatter puja. "I saw a blue-man in
a dream just before you came," Summer announced. "I
was waiting for you." I wanted to keep quiet. Summer's energy
was so addictive. "Do you know that you're sick?" I
worriedly asked. "Yes, I know this," Summer barked.
"The doctors say I have a very good womb. They poked around
in there and were pretty fascinated." She began leaning against
me with all her weight; her head shot up into the sky with deep
and secure satisfaction. I kissed Summer's hand. Her eyes were
shut, but she smiled. Summer looked like a goddess in her dark
green overcoat. Her head was wrapped in a scarf concealing all
but a trickle of her red and thin young hair. I kissed her on
the lips. "Don't, are you sure we should do this?" Summer
hesitantly asked. "I want the experience," I confirmed.
Summer's mouth pounced suddenly onto mine. Her entire body heaved
in my direction. Summer had now made another partial surrender.
We went out for Chinese and talked late into the night.
The Indians continued to play around. I took Summer to see the
Josefov. We savored the intense energies of the Jewish black and
white magicians. Summer peered into the cold rooms and heaved
silently. She understood the energies, but felt they were unfamiliar.
"They're unhealthy, I don't like them." She proclaimed.
Sadness and fear clung to the old ghetto as Summer hunched her
muscular neck. This was not her place. We both knew this. I sketched
the tombstones onto paper with pastel butts and ripped up my work
into shreds as an offering to the hungry locals. Summer sat nearby
watching it all intently, but with an air of detachment. We looked
at the hawkers milking the old Jewish past for all it was worth.
And then we left. Summer took my hand and said: "Let's go
to the Hrad." The Hrad, the seat of Czech government and
the possible inspiration for Kafka's castle. Havel was now enthroned
and the Golem was on vacation.
It was in front of St. Vitus cathedral that I almost collapsed.
Summer touched my forehead with her own in an almost wild impulse
and our energies began to fuse like an angry electric shock. I
felt boundary loss as the Hrad's spirits laughed at me and my
dilemma. I was finally discovering SUMMER. We sat down and started
to neck. I kissed Summer's shoulder and licked her long and sturdy
neck. Summer swooned and shut her eyes. "No, don't,"
she pushed away. "Not right now. I want to, but not right
now." I stopped in disappointment. "I don't want to
get confused," she firmly said, "and I don't want you
to get confused." Her long bony and beautiful hands clasped
my face. "Let's go home." The freeze had begun.
Earth from outer space inside a dream:
The earth will cease to exist when the sun swells out in its dying
phase and vaporizes this insignificant planet (we guess) about
four or five billion years from now, long before the Universe
ends (or begins again) Our little planet is turning jewel-like
and vulnerable in its transparent skin. It is releasing tiny seeds
into its own near space as a huddled figure with thumb stuck out
flutters and flirts somewhere near Alabama.
I bought a new Olympus camera and contacted the Jordanians in
Vienna. They said a visa could be had within twenty-four hours
and it would cost nothing. The Indians were still stalling. How
I despised them! I stayed away from Summer all day. A strange
distance was growing and I was at a complete loss. Time was running
out in Prague. I had to keep to my schedule. The Poles were waiting
and my mission in Karlin was unfinished. I wondered aloud if Summer
was a tulku. I walked around the Stare Mesto gulping in Czech
misery. Bohemia had been a battle-ground for Germans and Czechs,
Protestants and Catholics with "the poor Jews" caught
in the middle. I felt DISSONANCE.
The white Stress was seeping in from Berlin. The violent energies
were moving again. Where would the black demons slither out from
this time? I felt CONFUSION. My mind and body ached with pains
of withdrawal. Summer's energy was in me now. I had to release
her poison and retain her nectar. Summer's boyfriend was manipulating
the pause and creating a most terrible misunderstanding. We were
rapidly sinking into a tension spiral. I felt exhausted and miserable.
I dreamed of an intruder breaking into a hotel and woke up in
a cold sweat. The second day of COLD WAR sputtered on endlessly.
I was beginning to have an aversion for Summer. I went to visit
Kafka's grave, but got to the cemetery too late. I had to content
myself with a peek from a distance through some iron railings.
I asked Summer if she wanted to go out of Prague for a day. A
castle called Konopiste seemed inviting. Summer refused and retreated
in confusion. I disappeared into the night. The space had now
become too small for the energies being released. A perturbation
was needed to get Summer moving.
Two in the morning:
Summer's boyfriend started coughing in his sleep. Soon he was
up; and started dragging Summer into the bathroom for one of their
"night sessions." I asked Summer what was the matter.
She seized the moment and jumped onto my bed. Her bare feet clung
to the bedsheets as she squatted almost on top of me, taking my
hand and grinning a wide Cheshire Cat smile. "Oh, it's just
him you know. His father issues are coming up." Summer was
wearing a white silk bathrobe underneath her partially bare bony
chest. Her long white silk pants rested on my lap. Summer's face
was covered in darkness, a faint light from the street ilhouetted
her beautifully sculpted face. It was a strange face. One that
could look long and thin or round and compact, depending on the
angle of vision. "Go talk to him and come back when you're
done. Tell him to stay in the bathroom. It's important."
I ordered. Summer scampered off and eventually came back after
what seemed like eons.
"What's the matter with you?" I barked. "My asking
you to go to Konopiste was not an invitation, it was a summons.
Do you really think we can go back to business as usual after
what we've been doing?" I was impatient and exhausted. "Yes,
yes," chirped Summer. "We can never go back, we can
never go back, I'll gladly go to Konopiste with you tomorrow."
The fault-lines were shifting and groaning again for the final
push. "Why did you refuse to go earlier?" I impatiently
asked. Summer's face clouded up into a pressured haze. She weighed
her thoughts carefully. "I don't know, I got confused. I
thought I was being snubbed." I began to address my little
angel quietly, but firmly. "You sometimes annoy me, no you
annoy me a lot, but I care so much about you, I look the other
way." I barely finished my sentence, before Summer blurted
out: "I FEEL THE SAME ABOUT YOU!" She clutched my arm
tightly. I cleared my throat. "Tomorrow, you will be initiated
into the secret breath. Our time is coming to an end here. Give
me tomorrow," I paused. "I promise you that we will
meet again. It kills me to leave you." Summer adjusted her
legs and drew me closer. "Let's do the breath now,"
I commanded. Summer drew even closer and sat cross-legged across
me. I blew into her mouth and she began to gasp and heave violently,
losing her balance and fipping backward. I grabbed her arms as
she landed on her back, her head almost touching the floor. Summer's
eyes were closed and her mouth gapped wide open exhibiting her
flawless white teeth. "Are you all right?" I anxiously
asked. "What are you experiencing?" Summer opened her
eyes and said one word: "TIMELESSNESS!"
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contents of this site © Finberg Books 2000-2004 by Michael Arthur