01 - 02 - 03

Just a Little Infinite Jest for the Swamis

It was all hopelessly obscure to the observer. The fight had been going on for some time. The saint was gone and the new priest had ordered a sneaky break-in. Tapes were confiscated and then the senior monk on the property had been quarantined. But this had happened oh, so long ago. It was just a bedbug myth. The Memorial day crowds were now out in full force. So were the ghostly swamis in their long orange robes.

"I'm telling you, they knew it was coming, " said the elder man in the faded overalls. " Knew what? " The observer asked in a deceivingly involved manner. " They knew it was coming and did nothing. It's just like Pearl Harbor all over again. " The observer leaned into the conversation and continued asking questions with this green dry look. " Who knew? " The elder man shouted out, " the big boys. Who else? " It was great to be such a really fouled-up 21st century son of a bitch. Someone who could then empathize with all those sons of bitches from the recently passed century.

The crowds were still milling around the grey spectacular property. It was a cold day. But the sun was out anyway; and those who came only for the free food would never be disappointed. Of course, those who came to pray would do so too. " Why did yuh bring me here to this stink'n place? " A child-like and handsome man was now whining to his girl-friend. "Jesus, how's this gonna help my stock portfolios. I mean, really? " The girl-friend was ignoring him simply; and reading a Brazilian book on Shiatsu. It was filled with cheap entertainments; and had these photos of silly wheel-chaired men.

" I'm telling you. THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING and they didn't do a damn thing about it. Absolutely nothing. " It was just like a comic strip obliquely featuring Sparky the penguin. " They were making an oil-pipeline deal with the Taliban and they just didn't really want to know anything about it. " The elder man kept complaining. The observer knew they were constantly being spied upon by the high priest's men. One was a short German with a thin and squeaky voice who was always listening to Hawaiian music and just disappearing behind those murky trees. Close to the men's retreat house. The German had actually participated in that mysterious break-in so long, long ago. And it seemed like ancient history with its old, thin and withered lips.

The global-brain was still being born as the space shuttles limped slowly along to those huge lunar gas-stations next to Alabama. Dust storms were also fiercely hitting up on Jupiter, Pluto, and Mars. And the Milky Way had been caught squarely in the act of shredding this very huge and ancient star cluster. It was such a bad galaxy…. The observer could dimly see those tell-tale, hungry signs of stellar debris still smeared darkly against the morning skies. He then knew that Mother had finally arrived and that she still, hadn't lost her special touch.

Sudden Terrors and Synchronicity for a Friday Evening

The radio was blaring about something in Afghanistan. No TV was allowed in the holy house. It was just learning, learning, learning all day. No riding bicycles, no trips to Marine world USA and certainly no talking to the neighbors. The Lord had simply forbidden it. The Rabbi adjusted his hat as he walked downstairs to his office. These were strange days indeed. All was sheer confusion.

A galleon had mysteriously appeared by the bay. It was old and it was small like a mattress left next to an old windowsill. Somehow the boat had gone across the blue ocean and simply disappeared hundreds of years ago. And during that time, there was no internet, no telephone, certainly no planes and no cars. Just a simple silence like left-over cigarettes in a dark plastic ashtray. The Rabbi had a headache. There was nothing in the holy Midrash about these Spanish galleons appearing out of nowhere. It told only about these ministering angels and those holy messengers from the most high. Also that the eventual destruction of the terribly wicked was most assured.

Now unknown to most, the bay itself was very shallow. Hydraulic mining during the gold rush had pushed so much sinister silt into the freezing underwater valley that it was just thirty to eighteen feet deep in most places now. Also these man-made landfills had reduced all the fresh water making it hard for the bay to just flush itself, get dressed and pull up its green trousers.

" Do me a favor, Mendel. Close the door. " The Rabbi said in a hushed tone. A small child's hand pushed it shut. Somewhere in the universe the radio was now blaring about nuclear war in India. About these idiots in the Pentagon and about Korea and Indonesia just getting drunk on moonshine and tenderness. " Tati! " a muffled voice was crying from the other side of the thick door. " There's a big marsh-mellow trying to get into the house. It's on fire too and it's smoking a lot. What should I do? " The Rabbi lifted his head from his book with an annoyed jerk and said: " Mendel, go play with your sister, please. I'm busy. " The muffled voice yelled " I can't. It's blocking the door…. "


No, no. That's not quite it.


No, no. That won't do either.

The writer slouched back into his chair. War was in the air and he had to find an ending soon….

Sexy Girl Wanted for Long-term Mutual Debauchery and Pleasure

The cars were roaring along the freeway to San Rafael. America was leading the civilized world in a titanic struggle against unknown terror. She was steam-boating in the Utah desert. The Feds were furiously reorganizing with a high-ball in their face in order to improve collapsing domestic security; and a new cabinet position was being created now second only to the DOD that would simply handle all this BS with a steamy baritone kind of voice.

A young woman was precariously cradling the cell-phone to her ear with one hand, as her other hand was furiously dancing with the steering wheel. " I dunno. I'm just really speechless, you know. He was really this misleading ass. I mean, couldn't he have just come up with something really more tactful? " The voice on the other line was inaudible.

Drooling fools everywhere were parading in the evening. The speeding cars were getting lost in kitchen vineyards. " Couldn't he have just had the guts to call me. You know, and tell me how he really feels about me? It's pathetic. He was just pretending. I mean…."when these giant stars start exploding they just show these irregular blasts that create these gnarly globs of space; and these kinds of supernovas can then unleash energies that can briefly outshine any galaxy.

The driver at the wheel was starting finally to tear. "I mean, I'm not picky, and I'm open to meeting new people. You know, I'm not desperate and I'm fun, and I'm really cute. I like singing in the shower, and hanging out with all kinds of cool friends, I like hiking, running, and trying out new things. I mean gosh, why did he behave like such a jerk. I mean I could have taken him and shown him some monkeys and watermelon juice and you know, I'm just sexy as hell! "

Video conferencing was now really booming since nine-eleven. One hundred and thirty million cell phones were discarded every year in America. About 65,000 tons! They were also shrinking in size and weighing only three ounces. They also contained toxic elements like arsenic, lead and zinc. " I mean did he just want a blow-job right away or what? " She was crying. The freeway was getting dark. The buddahs were also just waking up. Serious issues were being discussed now like transport and border security, also something obliquely called emergency preparedness and also serious counter-measures for biological, chemical, and nuclear attack. Hemingway and Salinger were also really laughing. " I mean I'm a nice girl. " She pleaded. " aren't I ? "


01 - 02 - 03

All contents of this site © Finberg Books 2000-2004 by Michael Arthur Finberg