Dearest Pumpkin:

My friend who likes the Hopis is pissing off my psychic friend. I mean he leaves a million phone calls on his message machine and he finds it annoying. My friend came over and we went back to the place we got lost in. You know with the Hopi marker. Yeah, the one with the little hunched-backed flute-player.

Well, you're not going to believe this. It led to a huge cave! Yeah, My friend had a hunch. The cave had all these weird hieroglyphics about corn gods and groups of things in FOUR. It was really pretty trippy. A mandala for Hopis. We really weren't sure what it all meant. My friend wouldn't let me take photos. I looked at the vast valley below. It was so cool! It was ringed with these purple mountains. The clouds were racing..

No, I will not be erased! I know you worry at times about me. Indeed, it been slim pickings, lately. But I'm improving! Just yesterday, I did seven hours of puja. It was the Buddha's birthday. All actions are magnifies a million times. Whatcha think about that? It feels strangely refreshing. Even my confused half-brother attends the pujas...

My oh, my how I feel you! You are far, but very near! My chakras are opening up! I'm overloading. I can feel people's problems in my solar plexus, my heart, and my sexual privates. So how do I protect myself? I was told by a whore once, that if you know a man's sexual trip, you can control him! See, we're beyond that. So let's zoom to the moon. This huge data-bank now sits in my dad's garage. You gotta see it, to believe it. Over eighty boxes lined up neatly against the wall in the back of the garage. Every box is classified and filled with exquisite bits of information. It was so sad. My psychotherapist's mother died yesterday. I had to take her sons home from the hospital. I feel you know me quite well. Enough to guess what kind of well-meant gesture might be welcomed by me at this moment.

Yours,

A secret admirer

Rinnngggg..

" Hello ? "

" Michael? Is that you? "

" Yeah. "

" How's everything going? "

" Just fine. "

" Are you sure? "

" Yeah! Everything's just fine. "

" Don't leave any candles burning on your altar if you're out. You know an earthquake could hit. "

" Yeah, Lindy, don't worry. "

" Don't call me lindy! Only my family can call me that. "

" Yeah, ok, Lindy. "

" I said.."

" Yeah, you said. "

" Also, make sure you give Diane, the keys when you leave. "

" I will. "

" And don't forget to park your car behind my car in the tenant's garage. They get pretty pissed off about that. "

" Yeah. "

" And don't forget to put all the newspapers in a pile after you're done. I have to cut out articles for my classes. "

" I will. "

" By the way did you find an envelope with a thousand dollars in cash. I think I misplaced it somewhere. "

" Nope. You're place is a mess. I really don't wanna touch anything. "

" Oh, and don't forget there's some milk in the fridge for you. "

" Thanks. "

" And, some organic soup in the cupboard. Just put boiling water into it. "

" Right. "

" OK! Take care now, BYE. "

" Uh, huh.."

THUMP.

It was another LA day. I could hear this all-piercing scream coming, clearly from an airplane flying above the condo. The walls of the living-room started to shudder. From the terrace, I could see that the swimming pool was empty.

I called my psychic friend and he told me not to worry. " Everything is in chaos now. It'll blow over, " he yawned. The next day the Cambodians brought out Bhante's chair. He had suddenly made a miraculous recovery. The crones piled up heaps of delicious food for us. The love was constant here. It never died. The phone suddenly rang and Bhante decided to fly off to India right then and there. It was all just really too much, like a weird scene from the Twilight Zone.

Something weird started to happen inside my tent. As I was doing puja, Nakpa Yeshe Dorje's picture kept falling off my altar. I thought it was the wind at first, but it kept falling even in the stillness. I called Yeshe Dorje's people in LA. They told me he was in new Mexico dying of cancer. " Who the are you? " They asked. " Ah, just a friend. " I said. " How do you know him? " They flapped. " I met Rinpoche in LA a few years ago. " They were satisfied with that.

I quickly called my psychic friend again. " It looks like he's on the way out. " he stated matter of factly. I sensed he had known this for some time. " What about Bhante? " I asked. " He'll be fine. Remember, you're the connector. " Gene said.

" The connector? " I quizzically asked.

" Yeah.." Gene replied.

" To what? " I asked.

" To everything. " Gene stated.

" Oh, " I said.

I told Gene goodbye and hung up. Nakpa Yeshe Dorje then passed away the next day.